A lifelong journey of prayer and action (part 4)

For the last few days, I’ve been telling my story as my way of answering the question:

In your partnership with God, how was the balance of your role/God’s role and prayer/action changed over the years?

On event that gave illustration to the above question was my school reunion. I moved away from the town I grew up in when I was sixteeen, just after finishing school. This meant that I hadn’t seen most of the people from my school for twenty years. I probably wouldn’t have heard of any proposed school reunion, or entertained the idea of going had it not been for Facebook. I’d joined that social networking site because of the connections I was making in the present and the possibilites for future networking. I was therefore very surprised one day to see a photo of a thirty-six year old whom I hadn’t seen sinice she was sixteen, looking at me from my computer screen, requesting my facebook friendship. Once I’d accepted, there was an avalanche of old schoolfriends getting in touch. It was so fascinating to me to see how we’d all turned out that when a reunion was suggested, I was ready to make the long journey ‘home’.

I’ll never forget that evening. We all knew each other really well, because we’d shared those years together, even though we didn’t really know each other well. I was quite shocked when one bloke told me he’d often wondered what I’d got up to as he’d always looked up to me. I was a bit lost when another bloke said something similar half an hour later, recounting that I’d so helpful and a real inflence on him. One woman said I’d really been there for her at a really difficult time of her life. I was having trouble taking all this in, when an old friend sidled up to me and revealed that so many people were so happy to see me. She said many had made a point of telling how seeing me was a highlight, that they were glad that I’d travelled so far to be there. just when i was gettign a bit gobsmacked she went further. She knew I probably wouldn’t understand or remember any of what they were talking about, but that lots of people had found me helpful in those teen years, that I had said some really good stuff to them and been there for them, and had a big influence them.

Now, before you think I’m getting really big-headed, let me tell you she was right. I had no idea what she, or anyone else at the reunion was talking about. I have no memory of being there for anyone or saying anything encouraging or helpful or uplifting. I certainly cannot recall being a good influence on anyone (I’m sure one teacher told me the exact opposite). All I can remember is an awkward, emotionally repressed teenage boy who struggled to reveal any feelings at all.

I found all this a bit overwhelming….

…. and then I foud it encouraging. This was all when I was a teenager. This was before I knew what to do with my life. I had no plans, no ideas of what to do with my life of even what I could do at all. This was before any sense of calling or vocation, before any understanding of spiritual gifts, before any pastoral training or experience, before any ordination or commissioning, before any recognition of me as a pastor and a proffesional christian minister. This was me in the raw.

And even back then, before I was concious of anything called ministry, God was using me and giving me what I needed to encourage people and build them up and say some little thing to help them flourish. 

And I had no idea at all that I was doing it.

How is that for an example of God’s role and action, never mind my prayer and my role?

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